Every year millions of people begin their year with resolutions to lose weight, get out of debt or to quit smoking with a sense of anticipation and eagerness. We agree that improving our health and finances are important goals, but our relationships with others are critical in determining our true happiness and well being. So in addition to the regular resolutions, why not add a relationship resolution to your list?
1. Resolve to be a better you. If you focus on improving yourself you will be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, etc. Make a conscious effort to take accountability for your actions and strive to do better. Demonstrate patience with your partner and your children, make an effort not to say anything negative and do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness each day. Express honest appreciation, always be courteous, never take each other for granted and always try to be kind.
2. Spend more time with loved ones. Quality time with people you love is beneficial to your relationships and your emotional well being. Make it a point to plan time in your busy schedule to just be together whether it is playing games with the family, taking a walk or scheduling regular family dinners. This will help strengthen your relationships and it has the added benefit of helping you relax.
3. Improve the Intimacy. Romance can be really simple, all it takes is a willingness to make it a priority in your life. Make a commitment that each week or at a minimum each month you will have a regular date night. Get your partner involved and take turns planning the date. Romantic evenings do not have to be elaborate, expensive evenings away from home. It can be as simple as renting your favorite movie and cuddling by the fireplace – the key is to just do it!
4. Work on improving your communication skills. We all know that effective communication is important in successful relationships but how many of us put any effort into improving the way we communicate with others. Practice having meaningful conversations with your partner. We coached a couple that every so often they check-in with each other to make sure their needs are being met. Remember to also practice listening as much or more than you talk!
5. Hire a relationship coach. The ideal time for coaching is when things are going well. Relationship coaching is a client-focused service where a couple is assumed to be healthy, powerful and able to achieve goals with effective support, information and guidance. A professional coach can help you devise a plan for your relationship and put you on the right track to keeping your relationship resolutions.
Love is a verb it requires action. Make your relationship a priority in 2011 and have a healthy, happy new year!
Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts and co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages. They are principals of The ECI Group which offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples. Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offer invaluable insight into the male and female roles in any relationship. For more information contact them at 818-835-2ECI or visit their website at www.TheECIGroup.com
