Falling in love and getting married is like jumping into a pool that has been emptied of all of the water, it is bound to be painful! We believe that there are five stages of effective relationships that must be mastered to have fulfilling, meaningful relationships. Falling in love is easy, but successful unions require effort and hard work. The problem is that many people rely on this one emotion as the basis of their relationship. Love can mean different things to different people-a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; sexual passion or desire; to need or require (our personal favorite); to benefit greatly from; a score of zero in tennis, etc. There are over 25 different definitions of the word "love" in the dictionary, but what does it mean to you? We also learn to express love (or not) in many different ways. One of the best books we ever read as a couple was “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. In it he describes countless relationship issues that can be resolved by learning and speaking in your partners “love language.” While this is invaluable advice and we highly recommend the book, love or the expression of love alone is not enough.
We have personally witnessed the break up of several of our close friends’ relationships. In almost every instance the couple believes that the mere presence or absence of love makes or breaks a relationship. The truth is that many divorced couples still “love” each other. What this means is that something else was missing. Whatever the reason, there is significant evidence that love is not enough to hold a relationship together. We strongly believe that if you understand and master the five stages of Trust, Communication, Commitment, Accountability and Intimacy AND follow a few simple ground rules, you can take ownership of your love life and truly live happily after ever.
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