Rule #1

Before we get into the detailed teachings of the five stages of effective relationships - there are a few basic ground rules that we believe must be adhered to. Rule #1 - No one is perfect! (Pia will be the first to admit that she has trouble with this one:-) This rule sets the stage for all effective relationship work. The understanding that no one is perfect and we are all human should be a relief for many of us and allow us to take the pressure off of our significant other. How many people when they get married promise to love, honor and cherish for better or worse, for richer or for poorer until death do us part but don't really mean it - as soon as it gets "worse" they want out. The sooner you embrace this ground rule - it will help you so much in all aspects of your relationship. For example, you will realize that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. If you decide you want out of your relationship because your mate is not perfect - we guarantee you will be dealing with a whole new set of issues in your next relationship that could even be worse. This ground rule also helps you to forgive - we all make mistakes and as long as we own up to them and are accountable for our actions we can learn from those mistakes and move on. We also do not believe that there is an ideal man or woman - there are certain things that work for one relationship that would never work for the other. We are friends with two couples that are happily married - both over 15 years and they are completely opposite. In one relationship the husband believes that the man is the head of the household and the woman should be at home raising children, cooking and cleaning while he earns a living. Then theres the other couple and the woman clearly wears the pants in the family. The moral of the story is different strokes for different folks. The key is to know in advance what values and qualities are most important for you in a mate and focus on the important stuff and don't sweat the small stuff!