Love is Never Enough: couples

Showing posts with label couples. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

The business of relationships

Last night all of Bachelor nation watched the season finale of the Bachelorette and I think we are all still reeling from Hannah B’s decision, engagement and subsequent breakup! From the very beginning, Hannah said that she was going to lead with her heart. But as we have said many times, love is never enough. Although everyone enjoys a good romantic love story, leading with your heart instead of your head can lead to poor decisions including but not limited to Luke P being in the final four and Hannah choosing Jed over Tyler C.

On Monday night’s episode Hannah’s parents expressed concerns about Jed’s financial stability and his ability to support Hannah and a family as an aspiring singer songwriter. They wanted her to choose the steady guy. But should a person’s financial stability come into play when you are deciding who to marry? As a wife of over 26 years, a mother of 4 adult children and a grandparent I say ABSOLUTELY 100%. Now that shouldn't be the ONLY factor obviously but there is a business side to relationships that doesn’t get talked about enough. The financial piece, the one that is driven by your head and not your heart, that helps you validate if you are making a good decision. The one side that asks will we make a good team? Are we in alignment with our goals? Hannah in her fiercely independent way that we all came to love, wanted to discount the financial stability question this and say that she can take care of her family. There is nothing wrong with the woman being the primary bread winner, but it is important to have this discussion. When the cameras stop rolling and all the romantic date nights, luxurious destinations and grand proposals are over how are you going to sustain a marriage and a family?

These are the things that no one is talking about. I encourage couples to discuss the 3 P’s before getting engaged or moving into a serious long-term commitment with someone to open communication about finances.

Past – Discuss your final history. What is your credit score? Do you have outstanding debt/student loans? If so, how much? Have you ever filed bankruptcy or had any public judgments against you?

Present – Discuss your current financial position. What is your current salary? Do your parents or ex pay any of your bills? What is your spending style or money personality? How much are you comfortable spending without consulting your partner? Are you comfortable paying bills and making investment decisions alone or would you prefer to do it together?

Projected - What are your future financial & career goals? Do you plan to invest in real estate and/or business? Do you plan on having kids, if so how many and will you pay for their college education? Are you willing to spend money on fertility treatments if you have difficulty conceiving? Are you willing to spend money on ageing parents if they get sick, if so how much?

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts and co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships. They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives. For more on the business of relationships follow us on Instagram @ pia_wash and on Twitter @piavet.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Nudity and the empty nest

Exactly five weeks from today we will be dropping our youngest child off at college 2,000 miles away from home. Since she is the last child and we’ve been through this several times before you would think that we would have this all figured out. Each time we drove away and left one of our children behind it was difficult and I cried like a baby all the way home but I always had more children to come home to and take care of. This time is going to remarkably different since there will be no children left at home. Many of our friends and family members have asked how we feel about becoming "empty-nesters" especially at such a young age. And while my husband’s running joke is that he is excited for us to chase each other around the house naked, the truth of the matter is that there will be mixed emotions.

The Mayo clinic defines empty nest syndrome as the phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home. Some research has suggested that parents who experience this profound sense of loss are more vulnerable to depression, alcoholism, identity crisis and marital conflicts. More recent studies show the positive effects such as an opportunity for couples to reconnect with each other and improve the quality of their marriage while also having reduced stress from work and family conflicts. I will admit that I have been afraid about how emotional I would be when my last child goes away to college, however, I know the power of positive thinking so I am choosing to embrace the positive and share with you three ways that I plan on embracing my empty nest to insure I keep my marriage and my sanity intact.

#1 - Run around the house naked

I do not mean this in the literal sense but hopefully you get the picture. My husband and I have always been really great about keeping the spark alive in our relationship while raising four children. However, this will be the first time that it is just us living together so we plan to take full advantage of this opportunity to take our romantic relationship to an even higher level (if that’s possible.) One word of caution to those of you who might have spent all of your married life focusing on the kids and not each other, this may prove to be difficult. Many couples find that they do not really know their spouse any more or even worse do not really enjoy spending time with them. People do change and relationships are like anything else in life, they need to be nurtured and attended to - what you do not water will wither and die. So if you are reading this, hopefully it’s not too late to re-ignite the spark.

#2 - Find replacement children

Nothing can truly replace our children or change the fact that we will miss them, worry about their safety and get our feelings hurt when they do not call or come home as often as we would like. However, the idea of having replacement children helps ease the pain of not having our own children in the house to take care of. Currently we have three adult children who live on their own and we have three dogs which we call our replacement children. When our youngest takes off for college, we may be in the market for a fourth. If pets aren’t your thing or just don’t fit into your lifestyle you can always borrow other people’s children. I love kids so much and enjoy spending quality time with nieces, nephews and my friend’s children and the great thing about this option is that you can spoil them rotten for a weekend and then send them back home!

#3 - Tackle your bucket list

You are never too young or too old to start tackling your bucket list. Look for new opportunities in your personal and professional life to keep busy, take on new challenges or just seek adventure. This is a sure fire way to help ease the sense of loss that your child's departure may cause. Perhaps you have always wanted to write a book or pursue a new career but you never did because you were too busy raising your kids. Maybe you want to take ballroom dance classes or plan a romantic dream vacation for two. Make sure to take time to engage in new activities, hobbies or career pursuits that will bring you joy.

We plan on embracing this next phase of our life with optimism and joy while doing the things that we enjoy. Perhaps there will be a new puppy in our future, a new home in wine country and a loft or a new business venture. And just in case we decide to run around the house naked, be sure to call before you come to visit!!!

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts, co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages and Love is Never Enough: Five Elements of Effective Relationships and coaches dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships. They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples and singles and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives.

For more information on our upcoming events such as our Successful Singles Program or UNcommon with Brian Tracy book launch, visit their website www.ECIGroup.coachesconsole.com or www.PiaWashington.com; contact them via phone 805-415-5359 or follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/piavet.

Friday, May 29, 2015

#RelationshipGoals

Today is our 22nd wedding anniversary and shortly after this post we will be on our way to celebrate together. We have been happily married for 22 years and in a relationship for 32 years. We are often asked how we have been able to sustain a healthy, successful relationship over all these years. Obviously, there is no magic formula, but one thing that I know for sure is that we never just let our relationship happen to us. We have always worked on our marriage, established a plan for our future and created relationship goals. If you do a Hashtag search on Instagram today there are 1,130,545 posts related to #RelationshipGoals. The posts range from images of loving couples hugging, kissing, holding hands, to loving quotes and even some jokes. The good news is that it shows that people are at least thinking about what they want their relationships to look like. The next step is to actually set realistic goals and go about doing the things that are necessary to achieve them. We talk a lot about relationship requirements, needs and wants. It is imperative to know them for yourself and if you are in a relationship you need to share them with your partner. It is also just as important to know what you don't want in a relationship. We call these deal breakers. You also have to be willing to set boundaries and expectations and communicate them without being demanding or condescending. Finally, you need to discuss your vision for your future. Where do you want to be in 5, 10 or 50 years from now? What will your family look like? If you have children, how will you raise them? What are your financial goals and what standard of living will you be comfortable with? How much time will you spend together nurturing your relationship? Will you have regularly scheduled date nights or weekend getaways together? Strong relationships don't just happen, they are hard work and we encourage you to move forward and establish your own #RelationshipGoals.

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts, co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages and Love is Never Enough: Five Elements of Effective Relationships and coaches dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships. They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples and singles and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives.

For more information on our upcoming events such as our Successful Singles Program or UNcommon with Brian Tracy book launch, visit their website www.ECIGroup.coachesconsole.com or www.PiaWashington.com; contact them via phone 805-415-5359 or follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/piavet.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Igniting the Spark

Disclaimer: This is post is for grown women only!

A few years ago we published a blog post titled "Romancing your Man" and we listed the top ten actions that get men in a romantic mood in order from most often to least frequent. Please feel free to read that post to see the list in it's entirety here: Romancing your man Today I would like to talk specifically for those of you who may need to put the spark back into your relationship OR if you want to fan the flames to make sure the spark never goes out. This advice to women can be summed up in a simple, easy to remember formula. In order to make sure your relationship stays H.O.T. you need P.I.A.

P - Play dress up: Men are visual creatures. How far you take this depends on your comfort zone, finances and what your man likes. You do not necessarily need to go out and buy a wig, sexy costume or expensive lingerie. But it is important to understand what your man likes and give him just that. For example, my husband has a thing for ponytails and short pleated skirts. He also likes me in a crisp while Men's dress shirt. The good news is that I stopped spending tons of money on fancy lingerie and sleepwear and invested that money in what I know my man likes.

I - Initiate romance/sex: Men like to feel desired. If you make an extra effort to plan a romantic date night and/or initiate sex not only does it take the pressure off of him, it makes him feel wanted. Again, this doesn't mean you have to book a night at the Four Seasons Hotel and have an expensive five course meal. If you have kids, send them to a friend's or relative's house and serve a home cooked meal by candlelight with soft music. This does not count if it is his birthday or some other holiday, it needs to be spontaneous on a random day of the week just because you love him. Now if you already do this from time to time, good job! I say keep it up but make sure you switch it up so it doesn't become boring, routine or expected. The element of surprise adds to the experience.

A - Always say yes: You can roll your eyes and smack your lips if you want to but I am speaking the truth. Men are sexual beings and they have this thing called an ego. So saying no or turning a man down for sex is a blow to his ego and self esteem. And as I stated above they want to feel desired and if you don't show that you desire them, someone else will. Please note that there are exceptions to this rule, but only a few. If you are sick and there is a legitimate reason you cannot engage in sex then by all means say no. In fact, a good man wouldn't ask during this time he would be trying to make you comfortable and nurse you back to health (but that is a blog post for another day). And just to be clear, headaches do not count. In fact, there is significant evidence that sex helps relieve headaches so take that excuse off the table. And you should NEVER, EVER withhold sex as a form of punishment, it's cruel and unusual but most importantly it just doesn't work. And worst case scenario if you withhold often enough it builds resentment and he may eventually get his needs met somewhere else. I'm just saying.

Love & Blessings,

Pia Washington
Author of Attracting the Life you Want from the Boardroom to the Bedroom

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts, co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages and Love is Never Enough: Five Elements of Effective Relationships and coaches dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships. They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Their signature program The L.O.V.E. Institute teaches clients how to LOVE by “Living Our Values Every-day.” Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples and singles and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives. For more information, contact them via phone 805-415-5359 or 818-835-2ECI, email strongrelationships@gmail.com website www.ECIGroup.coachesconsole.com Follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/piavet

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Life is about relationships

Whether you single or part of a couple, most people lack the knowledge and skills needed to create and sustain long term successful relationships.

Yet relationships are a fundamental part of all of our lives; starting with the relationship we have we ourselves, our romantic and family relationships and the relationships we have with friends, co-workers and business associates. Life is really ALL about relationships! Because relationships are woven into every aspect of our lives, it stands to reason that the more we increase our self awareness and improve our relationships skills and knowledge, the more fulfilled and happy our lives will be.

The one thing that all of our relationships have in common what WE bring to them in terms of our behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and level of awareness of both self and others. Unfortunately, most people do not recognize or understand the role that they play in the success or failure of their relationships.

To learn more about how you can attract and sustain successful relationships from the Boardroom to the Bedroom, purchase your tickets to see Pia speak at the upcoming conference A Woman's Voice of Leadership on October 11, 2014 at the Los Angeles Convention Center.

A Womans Voice of Leadership

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts, co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages and coaches dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships. They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Their signature program The L.O.V.E. Institute teaches clients how to LOVE by “Living Our Values Every-day.” Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples and singles and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives. For more information, contact them via phone 805-415-5359 or 818-835-2ECI, email strongrelationships@gmail.com website www.ECIGroup.coachesconsole.com Follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/piavet

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Wedded Bliss Wednesday - The Colemons #WBW

This couple is one the best examples of love and wedded bliss that we have the pleasure of calling friends. Rusty & Ann Colemon's relationship actually began in Kindergarten! They are a great couple that will celebrate 25 years of marriage on June 3rd. The Colemon's live in the suburbs of Los Angeles and have raised two beautiful, talented daughters. They credit the success of their marriage to their individual relationships with God and their decision that divorce was never an option.

Rusty is a television director and has worked on many popular shows. He is also a very talented musician. Ann is a licensed insurance agent and a devoted wife and mother. Rusty and Ann are an example of a couple that was destined to be together. Please join me in wishing them many more years of wedded bliss!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Ralph and Susie Johnson - Wedded Bliss Wednesday

This week’s Wedded Bliss Wednesday couple is Ralph and Susie Johnson, dear friends and one of the couples featured in our book, Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages. Many years ago, one of Susie's co-workers said, “I know someone who likes you! It's Ralph Johnson of Earth, Wind and Fire.” Initially, Susie wasn’t interested because she already had a boyfriend. As time went by she noticed that he would come in to the bank every day. One day Ralph finally decided to talk to her, he broke the ice by asking “what is your sign” and then he asked for her number but she wouldn’t give it to him. She asked for his instead and finally called him a couple of weeks later. Over the course of the next two years, their relationship developed and deepened with such ease and comfort that Ralph realized she was the one and he asked for her hand for marriage on a trip to Hawaii.

Ralph is a musician, song writer, producer and author. He is a veteran member of the Grammy award winning group, Earth, Wind and Fire which has produced numerous Gold, Platinum and Multi-Platinum Albums. The group was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2000 and they have received multiple Grammys and countless image and lifetime achievement awards. Ralph is also an honorary member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. and he holds an honorary PhD in the Arts from Columbia College. Susie is a Quality Assurance Administrator & Purchasing Agent who enjoys go-karting, collecting art, cooking and jewelry making. Ralph and Susie reside in Southern California and they have two adult sons John and Mark. The couple will celebrate their 35^th wedding anniversary in June 2014. Congrats Ralph and Susie, we wish you many more years of wedded bliss!

Levett and Pia Washington are relationship experts, co-authors of Shades of Love: Portraits of Successful Marriages and coaches dedicated to helping people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers and relationships.

They are members of the Relationship Coaching Institute and their vision is to inspire others to maximize their potential by living an authentic life to experience true love and happiness regardless of their background, sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. Their signature program The L.O.V.E. Institute teaches clients how to LOVE by “Living Our Values Every-day.” Together since the age of 13, the husband and wife coaching team offers executive and relationship coaching services and hosts conferences, workshops and seminars for couples and singles and provide valuable insight from both the male and female perspectives. For more information, contact them via phone 805-415-5359 or 818-835-2ECI, email strongrelationships@gmail.com website www.Levettandpia.coachesconsole.com Follow them on twitter at www.twitter.com/piavet

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Wedded Bliss Wednesday - Celebrity Spotlight Couple - Ben & Jen

We absolutely LOVE Jennifer Garner, the star of the upcoming film Draft Day about our hometown team the Cleveland Browns!!! So we decided to kick-off our Wedded-Bliss Wednesday #WBW Blog with a salute to her and her hubby Ben Affleck as our celebrity spotlight couple. Not only was she recently quoted as saying great things about our birthplace; "I loved being in Cleveland. People are so real and so nice."; we also had the pleasure of meeting her on the set of the Daredevil movie and she was so kind and down to earth. So it's no surprise to us that her marriage to Ben Affleck has been able to stand the test of time as well as the Hollywood spotlight. An actress and film producer, Jennifer Garner was born in Houston, Texas. She is best known for her role as Sydney Bristow in the television series Alias, for which she won a Golden Globe and a Screen Actor's Guild Award. Her film credits include Daredevil, 13 Going on 30, Juno, The Odd Life of Timothy Green and Dallas Buyer's Club just to name a few. When discussing how Ben Affleck saved her on the set of Daredevil she stated, "out of nowhere came this 6'4" red devil who just kind of puts his arms out and shouts 'I've got her!' I'm telling you, it was like 'I've got my own superhero.'"

Ben Affleck is an actor, director, producer and screenwriter. He gained recognition in the late 1990's when he won the Academy Award and Golden Globe Award for Best Original Screenplay for Goodwill Hunting, which he co-wrote and co-starred with Matt Damon. He went on to star in many successful films such as Armageddon, Pearl Harbor and Daredevil and is also a critically acclaimed director. Affleck won an award for Best Directorial Debut for Gone Baby Gone and he also directed and starred in The Town and Argo, which won him the Golden Globe, BAFTA, Director's Guild Award for Best Director and the Academy Award for Best Picture. Ben is scheduled to portray Bruce Wayne/Batman in the 2016 sequel to Man of Steel. During an interview in 2013, Affleck gushed over his wife saying that she was "the most beautiful woman out there" at the SAG awards.

Ben and Jen made their first public appearance as a couple in October 2004 at the Boston Red Sox's opening game of the World Series. On her 33rd birthday, Ben proposed to Jen with a 4.5 carat Harry Winston diamond and the two were married in a private ceremony in the Caribbean on June 29, 2005. They are proud parents of three children: daughters Violet Anne and Seraphina Rose Elizabeth, and son Samuel Garner Affleck.

Congratulations Ben and Jen! We wish you many more years of Wedded-Bliss!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

14 Compelling Reasons to Use a Relationship Coach

We are REALLY enjoying our journey as husband and wife relationship coaches! The coaching relationship is unique and powerful, and really can help you find fulfillment in your life and relationships. Below are some important reasons to use a Relationship Coach, any ONE of which is compelling enough to get you started on your journey TODAY.

YOU VALUE RELATIONSHIPS HIGHLY
You prioritize building fulfilling personal and professional relationships. You realize that your success and quality of life is directly connected to the quality of your relationships.
YOU ARE COMMITTED TO SUCCESS
You are serious and intentional about having a fulfilling life partnership, family, business, and community.
YOU WANT RESULTS
Working with a coach can move you farther and faster than you can on your own.
YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN
You realize that you don’t know what you don’t know, and your future success may depend upon access to new relationships skills and knowledge.
YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION
Using a coach can be the most effective means of translating knowledge into practice. One of the most indispensable roles of a coach is to help you use what you already know to make effective choices and take the actions necessary to be successful.
YOU ARE OPEN TO MENTORING/SUPPORT
A Relationship Coach helps you to use your relationships to evolve and develop relationship skills critical to your business success and personal fulfillment. The process of self-discovery, learning about relationships, and how to make successful relationship choices cannot be effectively self-taught or obtained from a book or tape.
YOU WANT FULFILLMENT
You do not want to settle for less or risk preventable failure, and you are willing to give yourself the gift of the support and technology needed to be successful.
YOU WANT TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
A Relationship Coach helps keep you honest with yourself, helps neutralize any tendency you may have to settle for less than you really want, is good for providing “reality checks” and being a sounding board.
YOU WANT TO BE PROACTIVE
A Relationship Coach helps you solve problems while they are still small.
YOU WANT TO GO BEYOND YOUR LIMITS
A Relationship Coach holds your highest vision for you beyond your fears and limitations, and helps you overcome your obstacles and challenges.
YOU WANT TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
A Relationship Coach helps you take responsibility for the quality of your relationships so that you can create them the way you want.
YOU WANT TO LIVE AUTHENTICALLY
Today’s world is filled with challenges to finding and staying on your highest path, telling your truth, and making choices that are best for you. A Relationship Coach helps you identify and live the life you really want, and to be more of the person you really are and want to be.
YOU WANT BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE
Your life is filled with opportunities and conflicting choices. You recognize the importance of creating and maintaining balance in relationships, including the ones you have with yourself and your higher power.
YOU WANT NEW POSSIBILITIES FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
You recognize that a healthy relationship is growing and dynamic. One of the worst things that can happen is to take one another or the relationship for granted. Opening to new possibilities keeps a good relationship getting better with the passage of time. A Relationship Coach helps you to continually discover and implement new and more fulfilling possibilities for your life and relationships.

We are available for individual private coaching sessions OR sign-up for our SPRING 2014 Singles Group Coaching Session at a discounted rate before March 23rd.

Love is Never Enough